My boyfriend is my world to me. I love him so much, he makes everything better. Even when everything sucks and I feel like shit and my whole fucking world is falling apart, as long as he’s there, I keep it together. He’s like my anchor, steady and strong. He holds me together. I’m not saying you need a guy to make you feel happy. I’m not saying that everyone needs someone in their life to make them feel together. But when you have that person, it’s wonderful, it truly is. But what’s truly, truly, horrible, so horrible that I can’t even imagine it, that just thinking about it hurts like fucking hell and makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry forever, is having that person, having that feeling, and then having it disappear. Having that person leave you, not because they didn’t love you or because it didn’t work out (because in that case you’re better off without them and it was never meant to be) but having that person taken from you. Losing that person. Losing them as in they’re gone, and you can never see them again or talk to them or feel the way you did when you were with them. That feeling, that person, they don’t disappear. They leave a hole so deep and scarred and terrible that it never heals. And no one can understand how that feels until they live through it. I hope I never live through that; I don’t think I could. I wish nobody ever had to live through it. The people who live through it are strong and brave and wonderful. I wish I could take their pain away and give them back what they lost. But I can’t, and I feel useless and helpless and I’m so so sorry.
(Source: phronemophobia)
- 2 months ago
